Keeping It Real MaMa
Parenting never comes with a manual and our main inspiration comes from those around us who always know best. I mean look at us now. Growing up we always heard mama knows best and as much as I heard that in my younger years I cant tell you how much I tell this to my own kids now. So how do we really know if everything were doing is right? We don't and thats the fun of parenting, especially when we get to say I told you so or I warned you. Then your confident light kicks in.
Nine Steps to More Effective Parenting:
Becoming a parent can fill like the one thing your least prepared for and its a tough but most fulfilling job. So lets discuss these nine steps into detail.
1. Boosting Your Child's Self Esteem
Believe it or not a child starts to develop their sense of self as early as being a baby. Their self-esteem is affected by your body language, tone of voice and word expression, They absorb this and begin to see themselves through their parents eyes.
Allowing your child to do things independently will make them feel more capable. With that no matter how big or small of an accomplishment praise them and let them know you stand with them on all their achievement's. Never belittle them or compare them to another child, this can make your child feel not so confident and worthless.
Every child at some point or another misbehaves or makes a mistake. It's all part of life's growth I mean let's be honest none of us were perfect. So even at times you may not love their behavior let them know that everyone makes mistakes and you still love them.
2. Catch Children Being Good
Do you often find yourself criticizing more than complimenting? Everything that is well intended by a child may not always have that well intended outcome. As parent's direct them to a better outcome. Face it , how would you honestly feel to have a manager that criticized everything you did that was for best intentions.
Constantly scolding a child breaks them down. Instead catch them doing something good without being asked or told and compliment or reward them. For example they made their bed without direction or maybe they picked up the broom and swept even a small part of the floor. Even the smallest things you can compliment them or reward them for can build their confidence and self-esteem.
3. Be Consistent With Discipline
One of the toughest things we can do as a parent is discipline our children. Being consistent with discipline is most important. The goal with discipline is to teach kids what behavior is or isn't acceptable teaching them self control.
Create and establish house rules such as no snack before dinner or no outside play before homework is done. This helps them understand expectations.
Create a system: You get one warning and then follow up with a consequence , maybe no t.v. or loss of other privileges. The most common and biggest mistake parents make is not following through with the consequences of bad behavior. Dont discipline one day and then ignore the same behavior the next day. They will never take their behavior serious .
4. Spend Quality Time With Your Kids
Create a schedule that works for you . A realistic schedule. Kid's will often misbehave as a way to get their parent's attention. Try to maybe wake up a bit earlier in the morning and have breakfast together or take a walk after dinner.
Set up a night of the week that you make family time for a movie or game night. Don't brush kids off from quality time. This can often be difficult for working parents and don't feel bad as a working parent. Remember it's even the smallest things you do that they remember the most.
5. Be A Role Model They Can Be Proud Of
Ever hear they saying "monkey see monkey do" ? Kids learn what they live and live what they learn. Always keep good composure when dealing with situations and think about why you would react or act in such a way. Everything has a consequence. Think and ask yourself if this is how you would want your own child to act or react.
I always have at least one good deed a day that I try to act on. I've seen this work with my own kids as now they all do a good deed a day. This is where leading by example comes in.
6. Always Keep Communication Make It A Priority
We have an open door policy in our home. Communicating as a family is so important to have. I never want my kids to feel as if they cant speak to me about everything and anything. Just as much as we want and deserve explanations children also do in most cases. Don't be the parent that has that because I say so or because your the parent.
Kids will begin to wonder if they have any basis and will begin to wonder about our values and motives if we don't take time to explain.
Be clear with your kids about your expectations. If they act out, describe the problem, express how you feel about the behavior, work on a solution together. Include consequences, make suggestions and offer choices.
7. Be Willing To Adjust Your Parenting Style Keep It Flexible
As your child changes and grows you will have to adjust and change your lifestyle, Environments have effect on their behavior, change of environment can help improve their behavior. Chances are what works with your child wont work in two years. Instead of constantly telling your two year old no try to alter some of the environment and make off limits to make a less stressful environment for both you and your toddler.
Parents who often find themselves let down in their child's behavior have unrealistic expectations.
8. Show Unconditional Love
As a parent how you express your corrective guidance makes all the difference in how a child receives it. As a parent you're responsible for correcting and guiding your kids.
Don't use criticism or fault-finding when you have to confront your child. These can lead to resentment and undermine self-esteem. Make there that although they have misbehaved and you expect better next time that your unconditional love is still there.
9. Know Your Limitations and Your Own Needs As A Parent
Another value to to model for your kids is focusing on your own needs as a parent. This doesn't make you selfish it simply shows you care about your own well-being. Take time out from parenting to do things that make you happy. Admit when your burned out. Don't try to address everything all at one time. Take a break.
Everyone always told me if I don't pick a day to relax my body will pick one for me. Very true. I can't tell you how many times my body gave out on me. You don't have to have all the answers be forgiving to yourself.
Melanie Santos of The Keeping It Real Mama Design is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com